Head Case
by The Sacred and Profane
Summary: Reno finds himself in Yuffie's mind. The only way out is to get some help from different aspects of Yuffie. Reno/Yuffie oneshot for Speedy Speck.


Head Case

AN: I own nothing in this story. This is for Speedy Speck so enjoy. Please R&R.

Reno was all alone in a dark void. Which was odd considering the last thing he remembered doing was sleeping next to his girlfriend.

"Where am I?" Reno asked aloud. Suddenly he heard a loud yawning noise echoing from all directions.

_Turkey's...gone off...to work..._

That voice could only belong to Yuffie.

"Yuffie, where are you?"

"She can't hear you," a tiny but still audible voice said. Reno looked around until he felt something pulling on his jeans. "Down here!" Reno looked down and his body stiffened. A one inch Yuffie was looking up at him. She had tiny glasses perched on her nose and she looked wise.

"Um...Yuffie?" The tiny figure gave a sigh and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"No, I'm her Common Sense. But you can call me Sense. Now would you be a dear and put me on your shoulder?" Reno complied with the request and placed Sense on his right shoulder.

"So where am I exactly?"

"You're in her mind. I don't know how you got in here but make yourself at home."

"Thanks...so what do you do in here?" At his question Sense gave another sigh.

"I try to make Yuffie act in a more sensible manner and think things through but I'm always overridden by her inner child."

"And why is everything black?"

"She hasn't woken up just yet," Sense answered. A few moments later, however, things changed. The black void retreated to be filled with a vast expanse of land, hills dotting here and there along with trees. The trees had Materia growing from them like fruit and there was even a sun.

"I am going to need serious therapy when this is all over," Reno muttered.

* * *

As Yuffie got out from her morning shower, she took a look at herself in the mirror. Posing a little, she gave a beaming smile.

"Hey there Great Ninja Yuffie, you're looking good today!" But after a few moments of posing and giggling she noticed something. "Pimple alert!" She then opened the medicine cabinet and looked for some anti-pimple cream.

* * *

Reno and Sense had ventured north for half an hour without running into anything else. Reno found Sense to be a good companion, she choose her words carefully and only spoke when something important needed to be said.

"I think you're going to have to find some other aspects of Yuffie's head in order to get out of here," Sense said, breaking through Reno's thoughts.

"That sounds like fun," Reno replied. The sound of someone panting came to their ears then and a figure suddenly appeared from over a nearby hill, rushing towards them.

"OhmygoshI'mhideouswhatwillRenothinkifhesee'smelikethis?!" The figure seemed to be babbling about as fast as it was running. Unfortunately it didn't pay attention to it's surroundings and ended up tripping over a stone. Sailing through the air, the figure landed flat on it's butt before Reno and Sense.

"OW! If I wasn't such a clumsy moron this wouldn't happen to me!" Reno looked at this newest version of Yuffie standing before them. She was dressed in a black cloak completely covering up her body. Standing up, the cloaked Yuffie rubbed her sore rear before she noticed the two watching her.

"Reno, may I introduce you to Self Conscious," Sense said. Self looked at Reno with wide eyes and gave a meeping noise.

"Don't look at my face!" Her hands went to her face then and she stared out between her fingers at Reno with wide eyes.

"Is something wrong with it?" Reno asked. Self nodded and uncovered her face.

"I have a giant pimple." Reno didn't see anything.

"Um...are you sure about that?" Self nodded really fast.

"Yeah and you're going to break up with me because I'm ugly," Self replied, eyes starting to water.

"Calm down. I wouldn't break up with Yuffie over something as silly as a pimple, got it?" Self studied Reno for a moment then and nodded slightly.

"But what about my fat butt? I mean it's just way too flabby!" Reno and Sense both sighed.

"Once again, I don't care about any of that superficial stuff." Self was about to go off on another tirade until Sense cut in.

"Listen Self, we need to help Reno get out of here. Once he's gone I promise you can whine about whatever else you want."

"Really?" Sense nodded and Self gave a cheer. "Okay, let's get going then. Although I don't know how much help I can be..." Sense glared at Self then and they started walking towards the east.

* * *

After Yuffie had taken care of the errant pimple, she sat down to a yummy breakfast of toast and eggs. Taking a glance at the paper to read the comics, a certain headline caught her attention.

Lord Godo of Wutai Sick

Yuffie's good mood lowered as she thought of her old man.

* * *

The blue sky started to darken as Reno and his companions pressed onward. Before he could ask what was going on, he heard a woman's voice.

"Should I ask the cool waters for a kiss?" The woman then appeared and as Reno expected it was yet another version of Yuffie. She was dressed in a black leather jacket and tattered black jeans. Her face was paler than the moon and two straight lines of eye liner were under her eyes. This outlandish looking version of Yuffie was standing on a bridge and looking down at the river running underneath.

"Don't do it!" Self yelled out. The Gothic Yuffie turned towards them and Reno saw that she had long black hair, unlike the short hairstyles the other two Yuffie's had.

"What reason do I have to stop?"

"We need your help," Sense answered.

"No you don't..."

"Yes we do and besides I'd be sad if you were to off yourself," Reno said. The pale Yuffie walked towards Reno then and touched his face, lingering on one of his crescent shaped scars.

"Reno...the best part of my life. What are you doing here?"

"That's what we need your help for. He needs to leave, Mani, or else who knows what'll happen!" Self exclaimed.

"Mani?" Reno asked, looking at the Gothic Yuffie. Her cheeks seemed to turn a shade lighter.

"It's short for Manic Depressive," Mani answered.

"I like it," Reno said. "Why are you so unhappy?" At the question Mani looked off to the distance.

"My father is sick and it's all my fault. If I had stayed at court things might have been better..."

"But then you wouldn't have joined Avalanche or met me." Mani returned her gaze to Reno then and nodded.

"That's true but I'm a horrible daughter. Always stealing, acting so childish, he must be so ashamed..."

"Actually I bet he's very proud of you. How many father's could say that their daughter helped save the world?" Sense said.

"But I- but Mani was cut off by Reno putting a finger to her lips.

"No buts, you're a wonderful daughter and a great person." Mani's eyes widened at his words but after a few moments she gave a hesitant nod and her lips upturned into a small smile.

"Thank you," Mani said. "All of you." Sense and Self nodded.

"So does that mean you'll join us Mani?" Self asked. Mani gave a nod and Self cheered, rushing up to her and giving her a fierce hug.

* * *

After placing a call in to Wutai, Yuffie felt a lot better. The newspaper was turning the common cold into a life threatening illness.

"No more moping for me today, I've got to find some Materia!" As Yuffie proclaimed this she put her hands on her hips. "White Rose of Wutai, away!"

For hours she hunted along the streets of Edge, invisible as a shadow, using her ultimate ninja skills to evade detection. She had managed to get a nice haul of Materia and was just about to resume her search when she saw a little girl with her mother walking along the sidewalk.

"Mommy, are we going to the park later?"

"Of course, honey. And I'll give you an extra large push on the swing." The child cheered and Yuffie couldn't keep the grin off her face.

"Mommy..." The ninja whispered aloud.

* * *

Despite Mani's seemingly upbeat turnaround an hour earlier, as Reno walked on ahead, Sense perched on his shoulder, he could hear Mani and Self arguing.

"My life is worse!" Self said loudly. "I mean look at my ugly features!"

"No mine is! You don't even know what true pain is like until you've expressed it in poetry!"

"Alright you two, knock it off!" Reno yelled, whirling around. "It's like I'm traveling with the vampire and Chocobo head, honestly." Mari and Self went quiet then and hung their heads down. "Now let's keep moving and try to think positive, if that's possible for you two."

The air started shimmering in front of the group while this argument was taking place. Soon a pagoda appeared before them, exactly the same as the one that Yuffie had grown up in.

"Is that supposed to happen?" Reno asked Sense.

"It's a memory house. It would be wise for us to go in."

"Works for me, let's go." The party then went inside the pagoda and saw the royal gardens. Two people were inside, a toddler sized Yuffie with her hair in pigtails and a very beautiful young woman with long black hair.

"Mommy..." Sense, Self, and Mari all said at once, gazing at the woman with awestruck eyes. But the woman and child didn't hear them.

_"Mommy, mommy look what I gots!" The three year old Yuffie exclaimed. Juni Kisaragi looked down at the glowing Materia orb in her daughter's hand and smiled._

_"It's gorgeous, what are you going to do with it?" Yuffie thought for a moment, tongue sticking out in concentration. Looking back up at her mother, she smiled._

_"I'm gonna give it to you!" Juni smiled at this and lifted her daughter into her lap, hugging her close._

_"Do you know what they say about Materia Yuffie?" Yuffie shook her head. "They can grant miracles..."_

The scene soon vanished and the onlookers were suddenly in a bedchamber.

_Yuffie ran up to her mother in bed and looked at her paler form with watery eyes. In her hands she had two Materia._

_"Mommy...these'll help you get better 'kay?" Juni gave a weak nod before her body was wracked with coughs. "It's not working!" Yuffie yelled._

_"Yuffie...please don't worry, I'll be alright..." Juni said softly. _

_"No Mommy I'm going to get all the Materia in the whole world and make you better, promise!" But Juni could only give a smile to her daughter as even more coughs made their presence known and her body stiffened. "Mommy, I'll get you better so don't leave me! Please don't leave me!" Yuffie started bawling then and Godo went to her side even as he yelled out for the court doctors._

As this scene finished Reno and the group found themselves outside once again. A toddler sized version of Yuffie stood before them.

"Weno!" The next thing Reno knew he was hugged very tightly around the legs. "Let's all play togewther 'tay?" Manic and Self looked at each other before toddler Yuffie hugged them tightly.

Reno looked at Sense. "Let me guess...Inner Child, right?"

"You're not as dumb as you look," Sense replied with a smirk on her face. But Reno's attention was diverted as Inner came up to him.

"Let's play hide and seek!"

* * *

As Yuffie reentered the apartment she shared with Reno, she instantly went to the couch.

"Boy, I'm beat. Where is Turkey anyway, he's supposed to be home by four," Yuffie wondered, staring at the clock. "I'm...gonna...have to...steal his goggles again..." Yuffie mumbled before drifting off into sleep.

* * *

After the ninth round of hide and seek Inner walked up to Reno, eyes shining.

"You haveta go, wight?"

"Yeah I do but I had a lot of fun," Reno responded. Sense was now on Inner's shoulder and whispered into her ear.

"I knows Sensey, sheesh!" Inner then closed her eyes and muttered something in Wutain. Manic and Self did the same along with Sense and soon a glowing portal appeared.

"Once you step though you'll be back home," Sense said. "It was fun to talk to a reasonable person," she added, smiling.

"Thanks for sticking around me, even though I have wicked halitosis!" Self yelled before covering her mouth.

"Thanks for giving me a purpose and cheering me up," Mani said, smiling widely at Reno. "You truly are the Evenstar in my life." Reno thanked all of them and gave them a smirk. Turning around, he was about to walk through the portal when Inner tugged on his jacket.

"You gots to play with Yuffie more Weno!" Inner said once Reno looked into her eyes. "Pwomise?"

"I promise," Reno answered. Inner giggled then and pushed Reno through the portal.

"Now gets out of here Turkey!"

* * *

Yuffie sat up, head pounding.

"Freaking headaches," the ninja muttered.

"Want me to get some aspirin?" a smooth voice asked. Yuffie looked beside her then and saw Reno standing beside the couch.

"Turkey!" The next thing Reno knew he was on the floor courtesy of Yuffie's glomp. "What took you so long?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you princess," Reno answered, returning the hug.

At least he knew why Yuffie acted the way that she did, the Turk thought to himself as he hugged his girlfriend.


End file.
